K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I am available for nakedness
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
