He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
