ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
