Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
