There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
