Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
