Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
