So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He called his prostate his "boner button".
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
