I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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