everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
