drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You're like the curious george of whores
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize