Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
