So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
