so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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