I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
