I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize