It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
