He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
