drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
