would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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