Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize