at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
