She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
