hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
