UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
