Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I look better un-naked...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
