Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
