After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
