How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
