you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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