He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm bleeding and have questions
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
