Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize