She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
