JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
