Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And then my night got REAL pukey
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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