Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
