Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
