I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize