walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
