Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
