when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
