Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
