He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize