Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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