This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
