Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
