WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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