Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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