they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
