so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
