k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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