she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
