I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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