I think im going to throw up on grandma
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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