did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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