are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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