Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
