whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This baby is an asshole
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
