This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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