I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
