Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
