i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
