You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize