She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
