im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
