we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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