That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
