I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
