Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize