nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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