Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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