as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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