dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
